Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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