She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
