last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
