she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
