I CAN MOONWALK!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
