did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
