Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
