yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
