just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think people are normalizing furries
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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