he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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