I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
