My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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