I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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