and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
