I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
