Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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