Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
