just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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