Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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