Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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