i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
