You're my little dorito
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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