You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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