I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Found your dick twin last night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
