His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
