I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
