if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
