Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
