Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
