Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
