so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
