I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
id be glad to
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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