u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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