Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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