I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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