spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
