they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You have to summon your inner elephant
Boobs are out for the taking
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
