Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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