Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
