if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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