Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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