we're blogging at a bar
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
