VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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