on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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