There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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