I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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