drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
