I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
