i don't like sucking hair
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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