Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
