That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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