Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
