White coat. Heels.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
