Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
